MAX PAYNE.

Most of the reviews I’ve read out there for this movie have been from huge fans of the video game. Well, now you have one from somebody who has never even played the game at all. Three years after Max Payne (Mark Wahlberg) lost his wife and baby to robbers/murderers, he’s still on the case trying to find the third member of the people who did it. Along the way he gets help from his old partner, Alex (Donal Logue); a mysterious woman, Mona (Mila Kunis); an old friend, BB (Beau Bridges); and a detective, Jim Bravura (Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges). They slowly start to discover that his family’s murder is tied to another set of gruesome murders that are linked together by some kind of Valkyrie tattoo and drug.

I’m not exactly sure what to say about this movie. It was bizarre, to say the least. As for characters, none of them show much of any development with the exception of maybe Detective Bravura, but that’s mostly because of how his character figures things out. The character of Mona seems random and unexplained. I had no idea who or what she was (Super gangster? Assassin? Government?) until I read up on the imdb summary that she was an assassin. Nothing about her character is explained, and her sister seemed to only be there as a plot device. The same thing went for Alex; he was only in the movie for plot development and nothing else. There were other characters like this, too, but I’ll leave it at that for now. And another thing that was never explained in too much detail were the Valkyries. Were they real or just hallucinations? It was as if some of the stuff could have been explained had they been fake, though some of the things would be pushing it. And if they were just hallucinations, why push their involvement so much toward the ending? Just for neat special effects?

And speaking of special effects, they really were done very well. Visually, the movie was amazing, from the special effects to the cinematography. Though I was kind of upset with the fact that the awesome ‘snow-on-the-gun’ scene as shown in the trailer wasn’t in the movie. I know exactly where the scene would have been, too, but it looks like they used a different (and less cool) cut. Oh well. But they did almost overuse slow motion/bullet time. And I don’t mean that in the way that it was all over the place, but rather when it was used, it was used for too long at a time. For instance, in one scene where Max bends backwards to shoot somebody, the whole thing is in slow motion, so a scene that normally would have taken one or two seconds takes nearly an entire minute to get through.

To take this a step further and discuss acting, I would have to say that it actually wasn’t bad. Everybody did a pretty good job, from Marky Mark to Ludacris and even Mila Kunis (though she seemed to be a bit awkward in the role of a badass). Oh, and the random appearance by Chris O’Donnell was fun. I hadn’t seen him in a movie since… hell… he played Robin. And even he did a pretty good job for his small role. And are there any Heroes fans out there? There’s a brief scene (seriously, about 10-15 seconds) that has the actress who plays Daphne in the new season. At least, I swear it was her. Anyway, that was just a random catch.

The biggest negatives that the movie has been getting have dealt with the super slow beginning and/or lack of action. The trailer shows the movie to be this non-stop, sci-fi /horror, action flick, and it isn’t. The whole first half of the movie is mystery/noir, and it builds up very slowly. However, this didn’t really bother me too much. But then again, I don’t mind some slow mystery to my action movies and don’t need non-stop mindless explosions for it to be a good film. The last half of the movie, though, is where the action really picks up, and it’s all pretty cool, though I think the climax was highly underdone and could have been a lot more fulfilling.

Overall, it was an interesting, though slightly confusing at times, movie. It could have done with more character development and a bit more explanations of things, as well. Also, that ‘almost-nudity’ toward the beginning was harsh. It reminded me a lot of Underworld 2 wherein the camera was in just the right spots to miss exactly everything. It was a rough PG-13 anyway… it should have pushed it a little further. But that’s just me. It wasn’t the greatest movie in the world, but definitely not the worst. And if you know Norse mythology (like me), or you’re just observant, the first big twist in the movie won’t really come as a shocker. And if you’re a fan of movies whatsoever, the second twist won’t come as a shock, either, because it’s the kind of thing that’s pulled all the time. Otherwise, fun action and great visuals.

I Am McLovin!

THE HAPPENING.

I really have no idea what to say. I was hyped for this movie for the longest time, then I started reading horrible reviews about it… and now that I’ve seen it… I feel somewhere in the middle. The Happening is about this event that happens only in the north-eastern United States that causes people to become disoriented before killing themselves. Everybody thinks there’s been another terrorist attack of some kind, but then the likelihood of that slowly starts to dwindle away. So when science teacher Elliot (Mark Wahlberg) hears what’s going on, he, his math teacher friend Julian (John Leguizamo), Julian’s 8-year-old daughter Jess (Ashlyn Sanchez), and his wife Alma (Zooey Deschanel)—with whom he’s having troubles with relationship-wise—hop a train out to go out into the middle of nowhere where Julian’s mother lives. Unfortunately, the train stops in an even more middle-of-nowhere place because they lost contact with ‘everybody’. So now the gang has to try and find a way to get away from the north-east region of the US to where it’s safe.

So, yeah, not sure what to think about it. There were some tense moments, sure, and there was quite a bit of comedy (I think it was funnier than it was scary). In fact, if the movie hadn’t taken itself so seriously, it might have made a decent horror-comedy. The gore is there, yet it isn’t there. They typically cut away right before showing much of anything (though some stuff was showed). And some of it was more ridiculous than others (such as the lion cage one).

The actual cause, which is revealed pretty early on, is borderline cool and just plain silly. At first I thought it was a bit weird and absurd, but I eventually got used to it, and the movie did garner some good suspense. Either way you look at it, though, it’s rather unique and original. Did it work, though? Semi-sorta.

The movie’s biggest downfall isn’t really in the script or the directing, though (so it really isn’t M. Night’s fault). The biggest downfall is the acting. Mark Wahlberg can be a pretty good actor when he wants to be. I’m not sure he really wanted to be this time. And I usually love Zooey Deschanel (in a lot of ways), but even she was ‘blah’ in this movie. John Leguizamo wasn’t too terrible, though. And Jess, the daughter, was really good… though that’s probably because she has all of two lines or so in the entire movie. Even worse than the main actors was the supporting cast. They could be just downright awful. So really, I blame the acting more than anything in this movie, because acting can make a bad script good or a good script awful.

That’s about all I can say about it. The music was good, and the visual style is good, as it usually is with M. Night. There’s no water-love this time around, though, and don’t go in expecting a twist ending, because there isn’t one. But that’s not really a bad thing, especially considering that most people’s main dislikes for M. Night after The Sixth Sense was that he was too predictable. But whatever. The movie isn’t a masterpiece, but I personally don’t believe it’s as God-awful as everybody has been making it out to be. I think people are just out to hate on M. Night, really. It has its moments, but some of the moments can really be negated by the acting. In other words, it’s not a total failure, but it isn’t M. Night’s ticket back into good standing with Hollywood, either.

Stop Saying Okay! Okay.