SPEED RACER.

I’ve never taken drugs, but if I had, I’m sure the experience would be something a lot like Speed Racer. Even after the controversy over and death of his brother Rex (Scott Porter), Speed Racer (Emile Hirsch) wants to be one of the best race car drivers ever. Along with his girlfriend Trixie (Christina Ricci) and his family, Pops (John Goodman), Mom (Susan Sarandon), little brother Spritle (Paulie Litt), Spritle’s pet monkey Chim Chim, and their mechanic Sparky (Kick Gurry), Speed will do whatever it takes. But after Speed wins an important race, super-conglomerate man Royalton (Roger Allam) offers Speed a contract which turns his life upside down, and he must team up with the mysterious Racer X (Matthew Fox) to put it back in order.

The movie isn’t overly complicated. In fact, there isn’t much to say about it. However, I haven’t had THIS MUCH FUN at a movie in a long time. It was very over-the-top, most of the time cheesy, and almost all the time cartoonish in nature, but it worked. In fact, the climax of the movie is simultaneously one of the most over-dramatic/over-the-top climaxes, yet one of the most awesome things ever.

The movie was random, the editing was fast yet fluid (I feel bad for the editor), and it was just zany fun. The dialogue, as I said, could get pretty cheesy at times, as could the acting, but it’s based on a cheesy cartoon, so it works really well. And I couldn’t picture the parts with any other actors or actresses now. They were all cast very well. The races were awesome, too.

As for the multi-color extravaganza, you get rather used to it pretty quickly, but it does make you feel as if you’re on drugs the entire time. And there are moments that even made me feel kinda dizzy, and I did perfectly fine with Cloverfield. And if I had anything negative to say about it, it would be that the first half of the movie moved a lot slower than the second half. Once the movie reaches the cross-country race, it really picks up and gets really awesome.

Overall, I can’t really say much more about the movie. It set out to do something and it did it. The movie was straight-up fun, funny, corny, action-packed, and (at times) even dramatic. I was gripping my seat come climax scene. The Wachowski’s were definitely on something when they made this movie, but it was worth it. And if I ever get in a position to where I’m not sure if I wanna watch a live action movie or a cartoon, I’ll know what to do. Cool beans.

A Keanu 'Whoa'